I have a problem. Someone please help and respond!

I have a problem. It occurred to me at the beginning of the year that I would really like to join the Air Force. To be able to wear that uniform and fight for a greater cause has always kind of appealed to me but I never really gave it that much consideration until I got my ASVAB scores back. It was then that I truly realized that I just might be able to do it. Every since then though is where the problem comes in. I want to be in the Air Force so bad that my chest aches when I think about it, which is all the time, but I have times where I doubt that I could truly do it. I have some kind of joint problem where if I ever hurt something, the ligaments don't heal like they are supposed to. I have to do therapy to make them heal. But at the same time I know that if I were careful and didn't get hurt that I could get past the physical part. Plus the Air Force is more about intelligence too. I also know that I have low self esteem and that gets in the way sometimes and I keep trying to convince myself to just give up and go to college when I know that that is not what I want when I could be in the Air Force and go to college too. I also have the health problems but I feel they are a bit too personal to put on here. I just want to know thy someone thinks I can do it. I want someone to believe in me. I know that I am strong enough that I can withstand all the screaming and mind games because I put up with them almost everyday with my extended family anyways. What can make me sure that this is what my destiny is? Is it the ache that I have when I think about it or the fact that I can see myself in that uniform as a physical therapist in my minds eye? I need help! I'm screaming out for help!! I can't make up my mind.

Just thinking......

When I was in school, I looked forward to getting out for summer vacation so that I could do nothing but lay around and sleep. But now I'm finding that doing nothing is extremely boring, especially after the hectic year I just had. So I started working in my next novel, one I hope will turn out to be the best yet. It is the first in a series and is called Leap of Faith. Me and my friend Lauren have been swapping stories since we were in 6th grade and even she could tell that I was really excited about this one particular story. Someday I hope to even publish it and become a published author. That is one of my main goals, To become a published author. 

You cannot always blame someone else for your problems. Only you can make yourself happy.

Normal

What is normal? Is it being just like everyone else? Or is it being yourself? I am beginning to wonder just what normal is. Everyone in this world thinks so different and has different likes. For example, one person may like pink but another person hates pink but likes green. Or another example could be that one person thinks that the braves are the best team but someone else may prefer the Red Sox. What is normal. In my quest for normalcy I have finally concluded that there is no true normalcy. There is no true definition for the word normal. As Forest Gump says "stupid is as stupid does", but just change it and say "normal is as normal does". That is the best definition that one can give for normalcy. 

How cruel!

The other day, while watching a movie about World War Two, someone said something that struck me as cruel and heartless. In the movie, a young boy was experiencing his first time in combat. He was the ammunition boy and had just witnessed a boy from his outfit be killed, so naturally he was scared and hid for a short time. Well someone sitting behind me had been complaining about this boy and how lazy he was. But what he said next infuriated me. He said very loudly "I hope you die! I hope the Germans kill you!" I couldn't stop myself and I know I probably shouldn't have said anything but I turned around and said, " you know what, you've never been in a war. You don't know what it's like. I hope they ship you to Iraq." It made me so mad because all I could think about was if they can say that to a fictional character, then what's stopping them from saying it to a real person, someone who faces death for them. I can't believe they said it especially when I think of my two cousins, one who is already deceased and one who is about to he deployed and hope no one ever says that to my living cousin who is in the Marines. I hate it when someone says stuff like that especially because of deceased cousin.

The invisible people by Jennifer Jones

 Sooo describes how I feel most times!

Being artistic

As I watched my sister rehearse for her recital on Saturday, it hit me just how broad the term artistic can truly be. I mean, not only is it being able to draw, but it also includes many things such as being crafty, able to paint, or even good at riding horses. There are an infinite number of things that can be considered artistic so why limit yourself? If u think about it, even life is a genre of art in itself.